It's midday, overcast, and gusty. I'm in my pajamas, drinking tea, and writing this blog. 'That's the life!' you may say, but I assure you that I would much rather be out there pursuing my dreams of being a professional photographer, tutor, child caregiver, or any one of a number of other things. So what, then, has brought me to this point?
About a year and a half ago, I went through a heartbreak. Boo-hoo. I was miserable for a while, I cried a lot, and I couldn't concentrate at work. I was tired all the time, and I thought my world was at an end. But, as people do, I got over it. I started to plan my new life, feeling free and empowered. But, as the months passed, I was still tired all the time. In fact, I was feverish and nauseous too. And my body ached all over, I couldn't sleep, I was losing weight. After a few months, I realised that I was seriously ill. So I made my way to a doctor and laid out my symptoms before him, expecting some tests to be done, followed by a diagnosis and treatment options. Much to my disgust, I was told that my problem was a lack of fun in my life and too much stress. He prescribed a large box of sleeping pills, and told me that I should head down to the local nightclub for some fun, saying that this would remedy all my troubles.
Disheartened and angry at being so rudely dismissed, I tried my best to 'think myself better. ' After a few more months passed, my symptoms had multiplied and I was so weak and exhausted that my work began to suffer severely and my social life had dwindled to nonexistence. So I decided to visit a doctor again. This handsome young doctor listened carefully and nodded sympathetically as though he knew my plight all too well. After a battery of tests, he discovered that I had glandular fever. This chronic, active infection, caused by the Epstein Barr virus, was kind of like having a bad case of the flu for six months straight. He brightly told me that although there was absolutely no treatment for the virus, I would be fine soon enough, now that we had found the cause of my mysterious symptoms.
Since my illness was getting no better on its own, I did extensive research on possible natural treatments. Since many people had found success in homeopathic medicines, off I went to the local homeopath and iridologist. He was a plump, elderly man with a thick, white beard, which gave him the appearance of a wise old sage. He peered into my eyes and spoke knowingly about my many and varied ails. He put me on a concoction of pills, capsules, and drops. My feavers eased and my swollen glands went down, my chronic sore throat disappeared, and I began to feel hopeful of a complete recovery. The fatigue, sleep distance, weakness, nausea, heart palpitations, and much more, though, remained.
That was ten months ago. At the beginning of this year, I had to leave my job at the bank since I could no longer cope with work, or even getting up in the morning for that matter. I have stopped driving my car since I'm too fatigued to focus or concentrate, I simply don't notice things in time. I suffer from headaches, neuralgia, muscle and joint pains, heart palpitations, insomnia, cognitive difficulties, debilitating fatigue, extreme physical weakness, nausea, and poor circulation, all made worse by physical exertion. As of now, I am still chasing a diagnosis, since, simply put, doctors are stupid. I have made a great many visits to doctors over the past few years, for both my scoliosis related problems, and my general ill-health. And what have I learned? That doctors know less about what is wrong with your body than you do. Unless the problem is as blaringly obvious as a broken limb, chances are, your doctor will be clueless.
Whatever it is that is wrong with me, I have to take one day at a time. If I push myself one day, I'm practicality bedridden for the next ten. I feel like an old person in the body of young woman. But I will get my life back. No matter how long it takes, I will follow my dreams.
Have you had a similar experience? I'd love to hear your story! Keep smiling, and remember, you know your body! Trust your senses.
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